Week 5 Blog: Taking Risks

 

• Describe a time you took a risk. How did you overcome feelings of inadequacy, fear, and/or vulnerability? What did you learn from the experience?

This is very long and rambly lol but I think it will be healing to write about it.    

    

     Last Fall, I took a risk of quitting and leaving my toxic corporate job of 5+ years in order to attend school full-time. I had been trying to garner up the courage for years to leave. Being in my early 30's, I had major trepidation - as this was risky due to my need to have health insurance coverage at this age. Ultimately though, the nature of my job involved handling cases/complaints and was taking a huge toll on my mental health. 

 

I finally reached a breaking point after my leadership wouldn't approve PTO for a break I desperately needed. I had wanted to see my family in Atlanta during the holidays (even after explaining that I had not seen them for 2 YEARS due to Covid), in addition to my partner and I wanting to take some time off in October for my birthday and before his major surgery. After being denied both requests, I came up with a plan and put in my notice. I no longer wanted to bend and cater to the "status quo" for a Corporation that didn't care about me and that reciprocated nothing for my hard work in return. I instead promised myself that I would go on both trips, trust myself on this decision, and make it work in order to attend school full-time. Doing nothing for far too long wasn't creating a solution anymore. So I paid out of pocket for two months rent health insurance upfront with what little savings I had acquired over the years.

So yes, it ended up that my partner and I took an unforgettable Fall roadtrip in the Northeast. After we returned, I went home to Atlanta and spent an extended amount of time with my family for the remainder of the month - in order to make up for lost time.

Words can't express how much this time off to myself positively affected me. It enabled me to reset, refocus, and re-envision what I wanted in the longterm future in order to have a quality life. However, I continued to have a sense of anxiety and cemented expectation that I was supposed to return to my old job/desk like usual. In order to get myself out of this mindframe, I started applying for jobs in order to have a fresh start in a new environment. Almost nothing seemed compatible enough for my goals with school. I then recalled how I had been wanting to apply at a service dog organization for quite sometime. I got an interview and by some miracle, the position offered health insurance and full benefits for part-time! What were the odds? It was rare to find an opportunity like this. Next thing I knew, I was back working in my former field with animals, where there was familiarity - except this time it would finally be temporary in order to achieve a degree to pursue my new field. 

As it currently stands, it has been a year and a few days since I put in my notice. I am still at my current part-time job, with an organization that actually has good morals and where i can say I am proud to work. My leadership has continued to remain appreciative and is super flexible with my school schedule, where it enables me to attend the program of my dreams at UCD full-time. Everything seems to have come full circle due to simply deciding to finally take this one risk. My only regret it that I wish I had made the jump sooner. That being said, sometimes... being pushed to your breaking point allows you to actually break away from a toxic pattern in order to start over. It puts you in a position to pick up the pieces so you can problem solve and do some critical thinking in order to survive - but in the best of ways. I think what I've learned the most, is that sometimes you learn a lot about your resilience by making one change - and that ONE change can make a lot happen in just one year from causing that one disruption in a cycle.